Welcome to Part II of our series on alumni volunteering. This month's Link focuses on the international student side of volunteering, such as being an Area Rep or a host parent. We've got some wonderful articles that we hope you will find as enjoyable to read and as inspirational as we did.

From Exchange Student to Host Mom

SSometimes it's so hard to believe I am actually old enough to parent a teenager! It does not seem THAT long ago that I was living my fantastic dream year in Denmark as a naive, idealistic and stubborn teenage YFU exchange student. Now I am "The Host Mom." My family and I have just welcomed our fifth YFU student into our family.

Parenting an exchange student is the same as any other parenting experience - full of joys, heartbreaks, adventure, the ordinary, learning, sharing, pride, and a lot of love. I would never view any of my international sons and daughters as just someone who lived in my home. They are my kids forever!

Having been an exchange student myself, I feel that I can better identify with my exchange students. It makes me a lot more understanding and empathetic. Sometimes, it makes things more difficult! I hate to see my international child making the same mistakes I did. I would prefer they just listen to me and learn from my experiences. However, I know it's natural for teenagers to need to have their own experiences first hand. Sometimes it is tough being a mom…

Of course, hosting has extended my own exchange experience in several ways. It has opened the door for me to share with my husband and natural daughters bits and pieces of that year that really changed my life and helped form my personal worldview. I also enjoy sharing some of my personal exchange experiences with my new children because I can tell the same stories over again and they can't say, "Yeah, I have heard that one before!" (At least until October!)

One other benefit of being a YFU alumna/host mom is best expressed by Deanna Troi talking to Alexander in Star Trek: The Next Generation "Cost of Living." ".... it may be hard to imagine right now... but eventually, most children come to appreciate their parents."

After giving birth to my first daughter, I began to realize the challenges my own natural mother had parenting my siblings and me. In fact, my mom became much stronger and wiser in my eyes. This is the same in becoming a host mother. Being mom to my five YFU children - Jesper, Masha, Jan, Manuela, and Katharina - has helped me be so much more appreciative of my host mother. These past few years my wonderful Danish host mom, Karen Madsen, has grown greatly in my esteem as well! Sometimes, I wonder HOW she ever managed! "Mange tak, Mor!"

Susan Cook (Soo Stenger)
Alumna 1980-81
Volunteer, subfield manager
National Alumni Council Member

I just wanted to take a brief minute to encourage all alumni to consider finding Host Families for and supporting (or "repping" in YFU terms)- incoming international students. The rewards and the new relationships can be just as satisfying as the ones you developed while on our program. Perhaps the most memorable parts of being an exchange student were the friendships you forged with your host family, host siblings, international friends and fellow exchange students. Through "repping" an international student you can get that excitement back again.

Many of you may not feel comfortable with, or do not feel that you have the skills to adequately "rep" an exchange student.....Don't underestimate your abilities! Let me give you an example from my region. Melissa Williams, who many of you know from her work on the NAC, finally decided to take the plunge this year and "rep" one of our international students who was placed outside of New York City. Wouldn't you know it though, she was faced with the situation that all reps fear...imminent removal of an exchange student from her host family.

Let me tell you that Melissa handled the family, the student, and the situation with the maturity, savvy, and confidence of a twenty-year volunteer. The family and the student she "repped" have raved to YFU about Melissa's support, caring and professionalism. Melissa is only 23 years old and had previously only been involved with YFU on the American Overseas side. "How did she do it? How could I do it?" you ask. Well, by using patience, common sense, understanding, and relying on her own experiences as an exchange student, she was able to calm and sort out what could have been an emotionally charged experience to one where every party felt satisfied and supported. Kudos to Melissa.

Many of you have the same potential. Not all "repping" situations are as challenging as the one Melissa had to handle. The positives of building friendships far outweigh any negative situations you might encounter. But I'll tell you and Melissa will tell you, a successful solution to a problem is very satisfying indeed. Give it a try. Your regional office and fellow volunteers are here to help you.

Thanks for your help!

Ted Galo
Northeast Regional Director 

  (Newsletter Continued)